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lyrics

I thought I could be Nikola Tesla
controlling electromagnetic waves
But I was just a loser in a lightning storm
thinking that holding on to metal was brave.
I thought I could be Alan Turing
and you were just an elaborate code
But you were made from strange patterns
that weren’t any that I know.

I thought I could be John Donne
with a love so great it was divine
but then I read his other works
and eternal love we did not find.
I thought I could be Joss Whedon
and against evil we would fight
But I realized I’d have to be crazy
and you would have to die.

I thought I could be Karl Marx
and lead your proletarian thoughts to freedom
But I was just a theorist
and I could not lead them.
I thought I could be Rorschach
making sense of the blots,
but I tore those tests to pieces
when I finally saw your thoughts.

I thought I could be a lot of things
I thought that I could save you
And though I had lots of pretty dreams
only some of them came true.
I am not a physicist
a genius or a theorist
After you I’m less a dreamer
You made me a realist.

The synapses in your brain
are an amateur firework show
I was drawn to the pretty lights
but you’re dangerous, I know.

I’m not looking for an explosion,
so I’m leaving Los Alamos
so when I see the mushroom cloud
I won’t be haunted by your ghost.

credits

from Notes From Underground, released April 23, 2016

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Mikayla Holland Washington, D.C.

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